Earlier today I was having a conversation with a few friends of mine, we were sharing stories, and comparing the craziest things that have happened and the worst things we’ve put up with. While sitting there I couldn’t help but think what causes us to remain in these situations that are obviously unhealthy. How many times have you gone through the same thing or chose the wrong partner over and over again? Whether it be continuous financial problems, repeat toxic relationships or just flat out dysfunctional behavior.
One thing to know about me is, I like to know the why, I ask a lot of questions and dig (one of my most annoying qualities I’m sure). I thought to myself, what is the why behind this, is it some morphed version of Stockholm syndrome where we grow attached to the dysfunction out of fear, or are we just so caught in thinking things will change, that we forget that often we may have to be the catalyst for that change to occur. Think about it, how many times do we sit and think to ourselves, “things will change” all the while doing exactly what we were doing before. Albert Einstein stated, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.” Although we know this is not the clinical definition of insanity, the essence of the statement is, in my opinion, holds.
So how do we make a change? Take a good look at your situation and yourself. Figure out exactly what is happening, and what kind of change needs to take place. I’m a firm believer in if you know the what and the why you can figure out the how. That’s not to say it will be easy, because in more cases then not, there has been a lot that has built-up to get you to this point.
A couple of things you need to know;
1.) You are not alone (God is always with you)
2.) Find your courage, you already have it, all you have to do is bring it back out
3.) Know that you are loved whether you feel like it or not, you are.
4.) You are more than your situation, more than what you may think of yourself,
5.) You have everything you need already within yourself.
6.) Know that there are people who are willing to help, finding resources in your area is just a google search or church away (a lot of churches offer assistance to those in need).
Finding your way out of the tunnel is scary, it’s dark, cold and most of the time you may lose sight of your goal. But honey, just know keep pushing forward, don’t give up, the pain you are suffering is temporary, I know that hearing that doesn’t help at the moment but I promise it is true, keep your head up and seek help if you need to. You got this!